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 MOUNTAIN NOTES      01-16-2000

The Mountaingnome My Apology for the Late Issue!
Partners, I shore am plum sorry for the late issue. We were really busy movin' The MountainGnome to his new Cabin(them city slickers call it a 'DOMAIN'). Here is our new home: http://www.mountaingnome.com
Well, it's sunny and 61° here in the Sangre De Cristo Mtn. range of Colorado! You can bet that won't last! Well, 'nuff of my jabberin', here's some news.

Special Feature: Do You Believe In Angels?
If ya don't, this might change yer mind. Yessir, I'm sure an angel believer, someday I'll tell ya'll why!
   Now on with the rest of the story. First off, the picture I'm about to show ya, was taken by a professional police photographer. His equipment was checked and found to be in perfect working condition. You must also understand, the occupants of this vehicle survived with scratches! Are ya'll ready fer this?? Click on ANGEL!
Folks, if any of ya have an angel story or picture, please send it our way! We will sure publish it and share it with the rest of our readers!

Now don't ya'll ferget to send them special stories and pitures to us! Email your story and pitures along with yer name and where yer from, and you'll see it featured here. So, dadburnit, email the The MountainGnome.

Talk About Dumb..
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had . . . .

-- The Mountain Man        


 THE SNOW SCENE

Starting this week, we're gonna do some features on trains. It's a great way to take a vacation or just go for a scenic tour!
We're goin' skiin' up to Winter Park/Mary Jane ski resort and on the way up, let's take the scenic route by the Ski Train. America’s largest scheduled passenger train is beginning its 60th season offering a postcard-perfect train experience through the dramatic peaks of the Rockies. Skiers and sightseers alike enjoy a day at Winter Park/Mary Jane Resort, one of Colorado’s most popular winter destinations.
Yore gonna see some of the dadgummist purttiest scenery ya ever laid eyes on! And when ya get to Winter Park there's plenty waitin' fer ya to do! Well, partners, ya'll have lots of FUN in Snow Country!!

*
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."


 OUTDOORS SCENE

Why not plan your next hunting trip to West Texas?!
Desert Mountain Guide Service offers some of the best fowl, deer, elk hunting opportunities around.
Hunts range from spot and stalk in the crisp mountain air for world class trophy Aoudad Sheep and Desert Mule Deer to rattling and stand hunting for Texas Trophy Whitetail. Hunting the best Rio Grande Turkey in the southwest throughout the mating season is typically with calls and decoys. This is a great opportunity to experience the thrill of West Texas free range hunting at it's very best.

  • Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
Free Download: Dink Smallwood:  Travel across mystical lands and explore dark caverns in this Zelda-like RPG..


 MOUNTAINGNOME FAVORITE SITE

Mount Vernon
This site is dedicated to preserving the history and artistic beauty of George Washington's estate at Mount Vernon. The site offers a visitor's guide, calendar of events, an overview of archaeological projects, photographs, and history. . .

A diplomat is somebody who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on you way.


 NEWS

"Do The Crime and Do The Time"
Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself. . .

Ever wonder why lint (the stuff you remove from your dryer) is gray when we put into the dryer clothes of many colors? I would figure lint should be a beautiful mosaic, something you might even consider laminating and hanging on your wall.



  • A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if You can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am!"


 TIPS FOR: Moms-To-Be & New Moms

Get Ready for a New Baby :
What will you need in those first few weeks after you bring your baby home? Much about your life in these early weeks involves changing diapers. So you'll want to be prepared. About 80 percent of parents opt for disposable diapers; others choose a professional diaper service, and even fewer wash their own at home. Decide which kind of diapers you want to use and stock up ahead of time. Keep in mind that you'll be going through 10 to 12 diapers each day during the first few weeks. If you do plan to use disposables, we recommend buying at least three large packs (about 150 diapers). If you plan to use cloth, you'll need six to 10 packs (12 diapers per pack) of pre-folded diaper-service-quality diapers. For cloth, you'll also need a diaper pail, diaper covers, and rubber pants. Go with diaper wraps made with Velcro -- otherwise you'll be stuck using pins or clips.
NOTE: Always follow the advice of your Physician!

Baby Acne :
Babies often get a kind of acne called milia, usually after the second week of life. It usually peaks around the third week, say Dr. William and Martha Sears in The Baby Book, and clears within a month or six weeks. While most baby acne will go away by itself if you leave it alone, if the oil on your baby's face is excessive and / or irritating to her, gently wash your baby's face a couple of times a day with a mild baby soap and pat dry. Avoid touching or squeezing the pimples or applying lotions or creams. The good news is that no matter what you do, it will resolve itself on its own. Within a month your child will sport beautiful, unblemished baby skin.

  • My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

 DADBURN COMPUTER STUFF

  • InDefense: You read about the new virus that looks like a Y2K patch. InDefense is the best Anti-Virus program that I have seen to date! There are no virus definitions to constantly update! Read what all the folks are saying about it! You can download the software and try it for 45 days! I'm using now and it's a Peach of a program!
  • ABIWORD -- A FREE WORD PROCESSOR FOR LINUX
  • MouseImp -- Increase your workspace and improve scrolling.

 The MOUNTAINMANS SURVIVAL TIPS

"If your feet get cold, cover your head." Whether you're walking, sitting, or sleeping, a warm cap (wool, polartec, etc.) will comfort your extremities within minutes. Add a neck gaiter and the combo will really keep you toasty. You lose a lot of radiant heat from your head/neck area.

100 Hour Emergency Candles! Many uses when your hiking, hunting etc.!

EDIBILITY RULE - MEMORY TOOL

  • If it's blue - it's good for you.
  • If it's red - use your head.
  • If it's white - do not bite.


 MOUNTAINGNOME's GRUB SHOPPE

VEGETABLE CHEESE BALL :
This version of a classic favorite appetizer adds the crunch and flavor of celery, green pepper, and onion to the blend of cheeses. The recipe makes two cheese balls, so you can freeze one for a future gathering.

  • 2 8-oz pkgs cream cheese, softened
  • 2 c grated sharp cheddar cheese, softened
  • 1/4 c chopped celery
  • 1/4 c chopped green pepper
  • 1/4 c grated onion
  • 2 tbsp water
  • 2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 tsp lemon juice
  • Paprika or 3/4 c finely chopped nuts Blend cheeses thoroughly. Stir in vegetables. Blend in remaining ingredients except paprika or nuts. Shape into 2 balls. Sprinkle with paprika or roll in chopped nuts. Refrigerate or freeze.

    So until next week, remember:Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.